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Sexuality & Relationships (Expert Forum)
is oral sex safe with my wife?
Answered by
Janice M Epp, PhD - Female sexual issues, Adolescent sexuality, Male sexual issues
Private Practice
Palo Alto - CA
This forum is for questions and support regarding relationship issues such as: Abstinence, Arousal Problems, Birth Control, Cohabitation, Commitment, Communication, Couples Counseling, Desire /Lack of Desire, Sexual Technique.
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Doctor's Answer
by Janice M Epp, PhD, Nov 14, 2008 02:56PM
, Nov 14, 2008 02:56PM
To: samoi
Everyone wants a guarantee that they won’t get pregnant, infected, etc. But, in life, there are no guarantees. I can tell you what behaviors are low-risk, but can’t guarantee your safety.
Tests for HIV must be done several times in order to determine a negative status due to the fact that the period of time before the virus is detectable is variable. In other words, you can test negative one week and then positive the next week. So one negative test is not necessarily indicative that either of you is HIV-negative. If either of you has been engaging in high-risk behavior, you should be tested several times in order to ensure an accurate result.
Besides, HIV, there are many infections, diseases and conditions that can be transferred between partners during any kind of sexual activity which involves bodily fluids. These include warts, influenza and the common cold as well as other STDs.
If you want to lower your risk of infection, you’ll need to decide on which risk reduction techniques will be most effective for you. Best of luck. Dr. J
Tests for HIV must be done several times in order to determine a negative status due to the fact that the period of time before the virus is detectable is variable. In other words, you can test negative one week and then positive the next week. So one negative test is not necessarily indicative that either of you is HIV-negative. If either of you has been engaging in high-risk behavior, you should be tested several times in order to ensure an accurate result.
Besides, HIV, there are many infections, diseases and conditions that can be transferred between partners during any kind of sexual activity which involves bodily fluids. These include warts, influenza and the common cold as well as other STDs.
If you want to lower your risk of infection, you’ll need to decide on which risk reduction techniques will be most effective for you. Best of luck. Dr. J
example: Condoms or dams.
If you and your wife are both STD free, there is no risk of disease from oral sex between the two of you - it is strongly safe. It will NOT cause cancer. Keep good hygiene and you'll be just fine!
Houston Chronicle: 11/13/08 Pastor Ed Young of the largest church in Houston said Sunday: "In marriage, sex is a gift from God. We should stop being so insecure about it. I want every married couple here to go home and make love every day for the next week."
Obviously because of his religion (to stay in compliance or burn) you have to be married. I believe any two people that care about each other can and should follow the same rule.
thank you very much, really thank you! So, we are in the safe side!
Thank god, I was thinking alot!
I'm really kind of worry about what you said!
Ok, let me explain the situation for you and you determine "PLease I need this help from you."
Actually, I'm not from the US or any other country that is a free country, I'm from a religous country which is "Saudi Arabia". You might know about it.
My wife lived in a conservative environment, if you know Saudi Arabia, then you will know what I mean here.
She's never met a boy, or involved in a bad behavior or high risk behavior as you said. and me too. when we got married we were virgins completely. No past sex work before marriage.
And I love her, I love to enjoy our time together, even that's strange in Saudi Arabia "I mean the oral sex", but I like it with my wife.
So, now I think you got the whole picture.
more info: We had tested before the marriage both of us, because the government requires that to prove our marriage. we were complelty clean of any STD or HIV.
What do you think now?
I'm sorry for bothering you, and my apologize because I have a broken english.
I don't understand what you mean, could you simplfy that?
I'm sorry, my English is bad
Then, usually our american churches, and especially the 'strict' and 'phoney' ones are very critical when it comes to sex outside of the marriage. But even if you are married, they do not say:"hey, enjoy yourself" (it's sort of considered dirty)
Steve...was pointing out that he heard a preacher say that we should enjoy sex with each other in marriage, and perhaps that he only added the 'in marriage' because he is a preacher and not because he thinks it is otherwise bad.
I am really glad you enjoy your wife. You can learn a lot on these forums here. I wish you both the best.
Thanks for writing again. It's great to hear from people in other parts of the world. As I said, oral sex is like any other intimate activity--whether it's kissing, touching, etc., in that you can be exposed to anything your partner has--such as colds, the flu, and so on. As to STDs, as long as neither of you has another partner, your risk is low. I'm glad you're enjoying your sexuality together. Best of luck to you both. Dr. J
I think it is wonderful you enjoy your relationship sexually with your wife. I also think that because of the lack of sexual partners for both of you, your risks of STDs are greatly diminished. One important point that has been in the news lately is the transmission of HPV through oral sex