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Divorce & Breakups Community

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MedHelp Member's Question

What's a parent to do?

by Roe719, Nov 05, 2008 07:29AM
My husband & I just got word that our youngest daughter is seperating from her husband after just 1 year of marriage. This hit us out of the blue. We thought everything was going great. This is her second marrage (1st one only lasted a year as well so this is REALLY a tough one on us). We love her husband - great guy! Really bonded with him - especially my husband. What can we do? How can we support our daughter when we love them both so much? She wants us to support her (emotionally) but we're so torn and hope she's not jumping the gun. Of course we don't know the whole story behind the seperation and are trying to respect that. We feel this is a very fine line we're on so are afraid to say the wrong thing. PLEASE ANY HELP /ADVISE WOULD BE WELCOME.
Member Comments (2)

by mami1323, Nov 05, 2008 12:55PM
Why don't you recommend marriage counseling to her?  Tell her that you are here to support her but you feel like maybe her marriage can be worked on.  If she says no it can't then ask her if she doesn't mind telling you why she feels the need to leave her husband.  She can't just not give you any details and then ask you to support her.  Especially if this is her second marriage.  Why did the first one end?  Do you see a repeat pattern of behavior on her part?  Just because she is your child it doesn't mean you have to agree with what she does?  Part of being a parent is leading your children in the right direction, even when they are adults.  They may do what they want to do any way but they need to understand the consequences to their actions.  This man is part of the family because she brought him into it.  She can't expect you all not to care for him just because she doesn't want to be with him any more.  

by Lonelymom, Nov 05, 2008 12:56PM
To: Roe719
Try to be there for your daughter but at the sametime this is becoming a pattern ( the one year thing) so try to get the reason's behind the seperation. Not only from her side but his as well and see if you can convinence them to seek help.

My mom did this with me and my soon to be ex husband the first time we split up and we lasted another 5 years after that. We had been together 10 years before our seperation and divorce proceedings.

Good luck!
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