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Abuse Support Community
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Sex Abuse or Not
by kathyjoe, Nov 07, 2008 08:42AM
Thank all of you who responded to my post about wondering if I was sexually abused as a child. When I say I "think" I might have been sexually abused, what I do remember though I think is not normal. At a very early age (4 years old or maybe 3), I remember putting on a sanitary pad because I "guess" I had seen my mother do this and my mother knowing. I had gotten one of hers out of the trash (how disgusting!) Now how would I know about that if I hadn't seen my mother use one. Also, I remember her "breastfeeding" and I must have been 3, 4, or 5 but she didn't do it all the time. I remember that I enjoyed it and I don't remember any milk. That is too old to be breastfeeding. It's things like this that I remember but is this sexual abuse? I know my parents were very sexually active and I slept in the same room with them but I do not remember ever seeing them have sex. My parents were always good, I thought....
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From what you've said these experiences you remember are all within normal range of parent child behavior.
Breastfeeding can be different in many cultures and some women do prefer to breatfeed throught the early years until even 4 or 5. There are alot of reasons the mother may decide to do this. Breatfeeding is very comforting to mother and child as a way of nourchering and bonding. It's an expression of love and effection like no other. Some women also prefer to continue breast feeding for nutritional purposes. Breast milk contains many nutrients and is also shown to help protect baby and child from some childhood diseases and enhancing vaccine responses in infants. It's even been shown to lower the risk of allergies and the common cold in children.
Many infants and children prefer the taste of breast milk to formula or even milk when they're old enough to drink it.
Many children who've been breatsfeed for many years will seek out their mothers breast in times of hurt for comfort.
Some children will even hold their mother breast or put their hands on it when not breast feeding because being near the breast is comforting.
Children mirror their parents behavior. And it's normal for mothers to dress, shower, use the toilet infront of their young children. So you may have seen your mother change her sanitary pad or put one on and mirror that behavior because you looked up to your mother.
But that's not to say nothing happened. No one can answer that question for you. The only way to come to terms with your uncomfortable memories is to see a professional who can help guide you through your emotions.
I wish you well,
Amph